The Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive styles

  Understanding the Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive styles
1. After each situation, compose a passive, aggressive and assertive response.
2. then, share your responses in an open class discussion or divide into small groups of four student.
A). You have just paid for dinner at one of your favorite restaurant. However, you suddenly realize that your change is a dollar short.
Passive response:
Aggressive response:
Assertive response: 
B). You are relaxing with the paper after a long day. Your spouse rushes in and hands you a list of food items and says, “I never thought you would get here. Quick, pick these up from the store”. 
Passive response:
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
C).Your teacher lost the test you handed in and you must take it again.
Passive response:
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
D). your roommate has not been doing his or her share of chores around the apartment.
Passive response:
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
E). while you wait patiently for the clerk to finish with the customer ahead of you, anothr customer comes in and the clerk waits on him before you. 
Passive response:
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:

Discussion
1. Which responses were the most difficult for you to compose: the passive, aggressive, or assertive?
2.  would other who know you well say you are more passive, aggressive, or assertive in dealing with conflict problem solving? Explain
                                        Say it with “I” Messages
Respond to each of the following situations by writing an appropriate “I” each ”I” message should include the following five key phases: Remember, you can rearrange the phases in a way that is natural and fits your personal style.
                                               When you…
                                                I feel…
                                               Because
                                         I’d prefer or like… will you…?
                                         So that… or, if so… or then…
Sample solution
Your sister, brother, or friend borrowed your new coat and returned it dirty.
“I” massage                       when you borrow my new coat and return it dirty
                                             I feel angry
                                            Because now I will have to take it to the cleaners before I can wear it.
               I’d like you to return my coat clean the next time you borrow it. Will you agree to that?
If so, you can borrow it again.
A).Situation: your co-worker has been asking you to change shifts with him/her. You only have two or three hours’ notice of the desired shift change.
“I” message
B). Situation: your best friend is to meet you at the movie, and he/she is late again. This time he/she shows up 40 minute late.
‘I” massage:
C). Situation: your group is working on a class project. Other people in the room are talking so loudly that you can’t hear what your group is saying.
“I” message:
D). Situation: The teacher had promised to return your test on Monday. It is now Friday and you still don’t know how you did.
“I” message:
E). Situation: A friend borrows your English book and promises to return it the next day. She doesn’t bring it back.
“I” message: 
F). Situation: make up situation and make an “I” message with it.
“I” message: 
                                                     Discussion
1. What errors, if any, did you find in your assertive massage?

2. Do you think you will be able to practice any of these assertive messages in the next week? Explain how

3. What will your biggest problem be in learning to be assertive? 

4. How do you plan to overcome this problem?